Friday, June 07, 2013

Successes and Failures

With graduation looming, my lease expiring at the end of June and just a general need to give my life some sort of direction, I spend most of these past couple of weeks trying to figure out what to do next.

It is an extremely scary, at times frustrating, yet in the grand scheme of thing exciting process - I know that by the end of it, I will have grown in wisdom, maturity and confidence. I know that I will look back on this transition period as one of the most defining times in my life, but quite frankly, at the moment I am not feeling it.

Part of me is rather scared, frustrated and annoyed. Although I was able to narrow down what exactly it is that I want to do and identify various routes that will get me there, I have only send off a handful of applications. Majority of places require at least three years of professional experience in the field, some obscure specialization or a nationality I don't have.

Moreover, I am not used to writing self-advertising cover letters anymore and, consequently, the application process to the few positions available is slow. I struggle with the idea, that I am defined by a mere two pages, a polished CV and a sugar-coated cover letter. That's not me because I am so much more than that. I have strengths and weaknesses and interests and experiences that cannot, and quite frankly should not, be compressed to two pages.

I find myself attempting to be superhuman, with no flaws, mistakes and unrealistic professional experience for a 25-year old - because that is the only chance to stand a chance at competing with everyone else out there. It is a balancing act between showing who I really am and advertising the best of me that so far has not been very successful.

Anyone else out there feeling the pressure of wanting to do something great with one's life yet being restricted by a lack of opportunities?

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