Thursday, May 24, 2012

Awakening


These last couple of weeks have been busy: Essay deadlines, exams and general university madness took over my life. But it is over now - all essays are handed in, exams are over, and amidst the newfound freedom I feel slightly lost. It is always the same - from one day to the next, the daily routine I have been following for a year comes to an abrupt end and I find myself overwhelmed by the attempt to bring back structure into my life. The protected bubble consisting of studying, sleeping and eating, intercepted by the occasional social event, vanished and despite all the things that need to be done, I don't have a plan - nor do I seem to have the ability to come up with one. It is so ironic because all year I have been wishing for exactly this moment - no structure, no obligations, no expectations - but now that it is here it freaks me out. There still is so much to do, so much I want to do, yet I just sit and wonder, reflect, think. These last couple of weeks have been glorious. I lived (wonder)fully - I travelled to London and Riga, spend Easter with close friends, saw one of my best friends getting engaged, went to splendid birthday parties, a baptism in the sea, a bridal photo shooting and numerous coffee dates. Life is good and precious - no matter if we have a plan for it or not.